This article is about how to know when you are in love? After reading this article you’ll never ask this question again.
I’ve said this time and again in my articles that people have contaminated the word ‘love’ very badly. They are calling all their compulsiveness, greed etc as love. So let me first define real love.
What Is Real Love?
The most important and beautiful aspect of real love is- It last throughout our life.
I am not a prophet so I can’t say anything about your next life. But if your love is genuine then it must last throughout this lifetime.
Why Must Love Last Throughout Our Life?
Some people will ask why love has to last throughout our life. Why can’t we just have few weeks or months of a good time?
I don’t have any problem with anything but I want people to become sincere with themselves and use the appropriate words. They must stop contaminating the word ‘love’.
Power Of Unity
In India divorce or breaking out of a relationship are new terms. Just a few decades ago no one knew what it is.
This is because we Indians have always seen marriage as a lifelong commitment. Now you may ask why lifelong commitment is so important.
The answer is because it is not just about the couples. When two people are bonded together through marriage then they produce next generation of people.
Whenever there are strong disputes and bitterness among the married couples then their children endure the worst beating.
A lot of children develop certain inner wounds which stay with them their entire life.
These wounds are developed simply because their parents never strive to bring stability to their marriage.
Let me tell about a girl who lives in my house for rent. I’ll not tell you her name because it’s a sensitive issue.
She is elder than me so I call her didi (elder sister or elder sister like). In India, the normal age for a girl to marry according to the society is between 25-28 years. I am talking about urban areas. In rural areas, it is around 21-23 years.
Didi is around 30 years old because of this her parents are in hurry for her marriage. Now her marriage is fixed with a man who has a permanent job and a lot of property.
Previously didi didn’t want to marry him because he is not good looking. Her parents started playing emotional cards. She also knew that she is 30 years old, after this, there will not be more options left in front of her. So, in the end, she said yes and now their wedding is fixed.
I want to tell you something which happened a few years ago. A few years ago didi’s wedding was fixed with a man who was good looking.
But that man was in love with someone else. He told this to didi but because of family pressure, they were not able to say no to the marriage.
A few days before the wedding that man committed suicide. Don’t look at this as a love story or anything else. I want you to look closely and think, why that man committed suicide?
Why that man committed suicide?
People may think that he was in love with that girl and she was everything to him. He was not able to complete his love story because of family pressure so he ended his life.
This is just a small part of the story, not the entire story. There are a lot of people in this world who failed to complete their love story. All of them didn’t commit suicide. Just because they didn’t end their life doesn’t mean that their love was not genuine.
Nowadays in the urge to earn few bucks’ people don’t give sufficient time to their kids. It’s like this- The most important part of any architectural structure is not its interior or exterior decoration. The most important part is its base or foundation.
If the foundation is weak then it doesn’t matter how much money or attention we spend on it. It will always remain weak.
Successful Love Affair
You might be thinking that how all this related to our topic how to know when you are in love. I just want you to look at it carefully because a successful love affair is the one which lasts throughout our lifetime.
I am not against earning money but my point is giving time to our kids when they are young is more important than earning few bucks.
That man didn’t commit suicide because of his incomplete love story. He committed suicide because he didn’t get enough love and attention from his parents when he was a lad.
In my article on avoidant personality disorder, I’ve said that a majority of mental disorders happen to the people who had a rocky childhood.
When you make yourself in such a way that you can’t live without a certain person then do you know what will happen?
The answer is you will suffer. People propagate quotes like – Love always hurt. The truth is love doesn’t hurt; only attachment hurts.
What is the difference between love and attachment? The answer is – Attachment means you are dependent on someone for your happiness or peace. If you will rely on a particular person or thing entirely for your mental stability then you will go in bonkers. It’s just a matter of time.
This is not because the person you are attached to doesn’t love you. The next step of attachment is always suffering because in this physical world anything can go wrong. Anything can happen in the very next moment.
People live in a lie that we are in control of everything but, in reality, we are at the mercy of so many forces of the cosmos.
How To Avoid Suffering?
This article is about how to know when you are in love. So far we have seen why the relationship between a man and woman which is the fundamental relationship of any family must be strong.
We have also seen that attachment is a sure way to invite suffering in our life. Now let me tell you how we can avoid suffering without compromising our love for a person.
The answer is we must never depend entirely on one thing for our mental stability and inner peace. This doesn’t mean that you must stop loving people who are dear to you. It is just about being sensible.
How To Know When You Are In Love?
In my article, ‘Everything about unconditional love explained’ I’ve said that whenever you help someone or offer something to the person who is really in need of it then we feel very pleasant and satisfied to help that person.
A lot of people complain that love has not given them anything so they harden their heart which makes them unavailable to experience the real juice of life.
When we really love someone then we experience pleasantness within us which is very satisfying. But when people try to own others then this pleasantness turns into bitterness.
So if you experience a tremendous sense of pleasantness and contentment then you are in love. But when you try to squeeze something from them then your love will be transformed into bitterness.
There are a lot of people who convert their sweet emotion of love into bitterness. The initial phase in which people fall in love is a very sweet experience for all. But as the time passes people try to own people they love.
This aspiration to own someone converts their sweet love into bitterness. When people fail to own a person then they experience suffocation or smothering like feeling.
I’ve written an article on unrequited love, in that article I’ve said that whenever we stop ourselves by putting down our anchor then pain and suffering is a natural consequence.
This happens because stagnation is the most painful thing for a human being. If a lot of drama is happening in your life then you must be grateful to the god because if nothing will happen in your life then it will be more painful than anything you can imagine.
People suffer unrequited love, rejections, or failure because they stagnate their life by denying growth. If they will simply realize that they are suffering because they are avoiding growth, not because of their incomplete love story then there will be no suffering.
Some people completely ruin their life because of this. They try to seek revenge and do insensible things which completely destroy their present and future.
In my book how to get over breakup and divorce effortlessly I’ve given very potent tips which can help a person come out of their excruciating pain of breakup, separation or divorce effortlessly.
No silly bits of advice like delete your messages, burn your photos and letters, don’t think about that person, stay strong etc are given in this book. Very powerful, effective and feasible tips are given which will help you come out of your pain effortlessly in less than 7 days.
This article was about how to know when you are in love. In this article, I’ve told you about all the aspects which are related to love and life.
Just consider all of them and remember that real love means that it must last throughout our lifetime. Just do this much and you’ll not have any confusion.
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